I wanted to write another post because my last one was so depressing! My Mom and I are fine now. Of course I didn't mean it when I said "don't ever call me again" but she said she knew how deeply I must have been hurting to say something like that. My Mom is always forgiving, and after we talked again about 10 minutes after I wrote the last post, I was feeling so much better. I think I was just really hurting because I want my husband and I to be the ones bringing kids over my parent's house. And since that isn't happening, and the cousin I'm not really on good terms with right now was bringing her kids over, it was an all around upsetting situation for me.
In other news, I don't think I mentioned this here before, but my husband and I sing in our church choir. We had practice tonight and I am SO excited about the music we're singing for Midnight Mass. We have a new director and she is working wonders with our group. We sound really good! I should see about recording our singing and putting it up on my blog.
I feel like I've had some very dramatic mood swings these past few days. The phone call with my Mom was one, and the other one was when we came home to our house (hubs and I) and it was freezing inside. The wood stove doesn't load itself, so unless we keep the electric heat on at least a little, our house is pretty chilly when we've been out for a while. The cold makes me so irritable, and I think I was also hungry. My poor husband had to hear me rant on about how it was such a bad idea to get this stove and I just CAN'T stay here if it's going to be this cold!!! Well, we're all better now, but I've just noticed myself being more irritable.
Then this afternoon I felt nauseous for a couple hours. You're probably already guessing that I'm putting all these things together and wondering if I could possibly be pregnant. Why would I even want to go there? I can't make myself crazy with signs and symptoms. I'm sure so many of you have been here before. I want to go there and imagine what it would be like if I did find out I was pregnant this cycle. But how can I? I feel so foolish for even entertaining the idea, and at the same time I want to. But I want it to be my reality this time! Wow, that would be so amazing!!!!
I have SO been there...I think we all have, analyzing every symptom. So glad things with your mom are better.
ReplyDeleteI am glad things are better with your mom! Mood swings - yeah, I have been there too!
ReplyDeleteIn regards to the cold house, 2 winters ago (January 2010), I was driving home and it was the coldest day of the year thus far - I don't think it made it above 5 degrees or something like that (I live in MN). Anyway, I was noticing as I drove home from work that all the other chimneys and such around the neighborhood were puffling out the white smoke and it was kind of pretty, but there was nothing coming from our roof. I thought...hmmm....
Well, I soon entered the house and it was so COLD! No heat (we have a furnace). I called my husband and told him and I was so worried we had a busted furnance, etc.... Anyway, long story short, my dear husband earlier that morning had gone down to the basement to replace the filter on the furnance and accidentally hit the shut off switch with his coat (unknowingly). Dumb mistake - but thankfully it didn't cost us anything. When the furnace came back on, my husband had to go around with a hair dryer and blow torch and warm up the pipes, because some of them had frozen (but thankfully didn't explode). Even the cat's water dish was a block of ice! It was so cold that evening, that I think we decided to go out for dinner because I knew it would take a few hours to warm the house back up. I love living in the North and the cold outside is fine, but I need to have it warm inside the house! Stay warm!
I'm glad you and your mom have patched things up. I can relate to how hard it is watching your mom bond with someone else's children. My aunt (my mom's SIL) has 2 little kids, plus her son's 3 kids (long, long story), and my mom babysits for them all the time and goes to church with them. It hurts to know that I don't have kids to bring home. Like being left behind, even though it may not be what's actually happening. Sometimes, I think acknowledging the absence of our potential children would go a long way.
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