Questions

Yesterday I had a really anxiety-filled day.  I've been noticing that if I have even a little bit of gluten that I react strongly to it now that I've been avoiding it for quite a while.  I got all stuffy and started having to clear my throat a lot, and then the anxious thoughts started flooding me.  It's like I'm unable to have a reasonable conversation about something, instead everything I say is kind of anxiety filled.  My husband tries to explain how my mood is different, which helps to have some objective take on how I'm acting.  I talked to my parish priest and am going to be receiving a low-gluten host when I receive Communion from now on.  I felt so anxious even talking to him about it, I hated the thought of him thinking badly of me or thinking it was all in my head.  Thankfully, those were indeed all just anxieties, as he was very understanding and said that a lot of people are developing allergies lately and that it's certainly okay to have a small piece of a regular host or to have a low-gluten host.  I just may need to remind him, as he might forget.  I had done some research prior to talking to him and knew that the low-gluten hosts were approved by the Vatican, apparently an order of nuns has made them specifically for people with gluten sensitivity.  I find it so crazy that I am so sensitive to it now.  I really do feel more out of sorts and anxious after eating something with gluten in it.  My sister has celiac disease, so I'm not surprised that I have reactions to gluten.  Apparently gluten sensitivities can manifest themselves in different ways with different people.  Some may get stuffiness, others may put on weight, others it may affect their fertility, others may have mood and emotional problems, and then the obvious, others suffering from celiac disease in which the celia lining the intestines are damaged by the gluten protein.  I am trying to get my whole family to try avoiding gluten for two weeks and see how they feel.  My Dad is not keen on the idea, but he is similar to me, prone to anxiety, so I think he would really benefit!  Have you limited gluten from your diet?  If so, what were the benefits you noticed? 

I am still so thankful my HSG went well.  But, and maybe I'm still anxious today because I'm wondering, should I be confused that we haven't found out what is wrong yet?  What is the next step here?  We haven't done the test for my husband yet, so that could reveal some important information.  But what about after that?  Do I need to have surgery if my HSG came back normal?  I know they can't rule out endo until they do a surgery but I'm just not convinced enough to go through with a surgery yet.  I want so badly to have the HSG be enough.  I don't want to do anything invasive unless I absolutely have to.  I hope I'm not upsetting anyone, because I know a lot of you have went through multiple surgeries and I really shouldn't complain.  I know we will do it if we have to.  I guess right now I'm just holding out hope that maybe the HSG unblocked something and now I'll be ready to become pregnant.  This is the start of my TWW.  I want to remain hopeful and trust in the perfect plan and love that Jesus has for me. 

Happy Day!

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers!  I thought of you praying for me as I was driving to the appointment and thought how cool it was that people I've never even met before are lifting me up in prayer.  I may not be a fan of FB, but I sure am loving having a blog and getting to know such wonderful ladies through it! 

So, my appointment went well!  The radiologist said that both tubes are open!  Yay!  He showed me some of the images taken and it was pretty cool.  My uterus looked so small!  He said my uterus looked good and didn't notice anything wrong with it (I guess as much as you can tell from an image?  maybe he meant there were no adhesions or growths? I don't know, I wish I had asked for clarification.) Then he showed where the dye was all over the place after it came out of the tubes.  I thought it was so cool!  I'm always fascinated when it comes to the human body and medicine.  I remember having a surgery for a lump in my left breast when I was in high school and afterwards I was so fascinated with surgery and wanted to be a surgeon!  haha.  I dream big!  Anyway, back to my appointment.  I'm so very happy it went well.  And the pain, I noticed some as he was letting the dye flow through.  It felt just as if my period was coming on.  It lasted a couple minutes and then when he was finished and I sat up, the pain was already easing and I felt fine.  I had a little cramping on the way home, but nothing to really complain about.  I didn't need medicine and feel normal now.  So I wouldn't say I'm in the "felt no pain at all" camp, but it wasn't unbearable, thank goodness. 

My husband was asking if the tubes were previously blocked and I wasn't sure how to answer that.  I just know they are open now, so maybe the dye helped open anything that was blocked?  I guess time will tell because I have no clue.  I was so excited and wanted to share the news with my bloggy friends.  I made sure to tell my hubby first though.  :)  haha I'm talking as though it were a pregnancy announcement!  Not that big of a deal, silly me!  My husband would have come with me but had a big meeting he couldn't miss.  So I waited until now to tell you all.  I'm thankful to God for this little gem of good news! :)  Thanks to you ladies for praying for little me. :)  You are the best!

Waiting For Tomorrow

I haven't written an update yet, as my appointment was switched from yesterday to tomorrow.  I'm anxiously awaiting my appointment though and am so interested to hear the results.  Prayers are greatly appreciated tomorrow 1 pm eastern time! ha :)

It is super warm here today.  47 and SUNNY!  I love love love this kind of weather.  Thank you God for bringing Spring early and this makes me want to do something to my blog header.  It's time for a change, winter look, you've been nice but Spring is on it's way and I'm ready!

Hope you're all having a wonderful day.

HSG

It's been two weeks this coming Monday that we've been following the Engine 2 diet plan.  I must admit that I haven't needed to change much.  I was going light on the meat for a while now, but one major thing I have cut out is processed chips.  Chips are always processed, right?  Anyway, they're no longer in my diet.  Instead, I've been left to munch on nuts and other meal type things.  I am on CD 1 today and so far have only needed two M.otrin every six hours.  That may sound like a lot to you, but it's a whole lot less than I usually need.  I am pretty sure that my cutting out chips has made a big impact in my level of pain this cycle.  Thank the good Lord.

We also took another step towards uncovering our fertility problem today.  I scheduled my first HSG test for next week.  I am feeling relieved right now.  I am not in a whole lot of pain at all and we're going to be receiving some helpful information very soon.  I hope I will get to see the results of the test while I'm there.  It's so hard to be patient sometimes.

I've been kind of slacking in the blogging department.  I'm feeling kind of down because there have been a few babies born into my extended family in the recent weeks and one of them came really soon after the couple was married.  When will that be me?  God, how long are you asking me to wait for?  I hope you have graces in store for me to handle however long I need to wait, because I can't do it alone.  Another couple we know is getting married in the spring.  I was hurt when I learned that the bride to be is worried she might have trouble having kids "like me" because she is of similar build and also has painful periods and blah blah blah.  Well, you know what?  Not everyone who has painful periods is infertile.  And just because you are petite does not mean you are going to have trouble conceiving.  I know plenty of thin, small framed women who had no trouble getting pregnant.  So please, don't look at me and say "I hope I'm not like her".  There are so many factors involved in getting pregnant and it's not always so simple.

Sigh.  And another thing.  I have kind of went back on my whole FB post.  I did what I thought I'd never do and I joined again.  Sometimes when you feel out of control due to something like infertility, crazy things happen.  Now I'm on it and feel like I want to cancel, but then I'll feel really ridiculous because I just signed up again.  I feel so incredibly fickle right now.  Normally I'd be crying now but for some reason the tears aren't coming today. 

Please say prayers for me and my upcoming HSG test.  I hope nothing goes wrong during the test and I hope the results are promising.  Pray please!!!

Engine 2

So my husband and I have decided to do the Engine 2 diet 28 day challenge.  Whole F.oods Market is hosting the 28 day challenge and they have weekly meetings and even teach you how to make some of the meals in the Engine 2 diet book!  I'll keep you all posted on our progress.  I'm really excited!  I am going to be reading the Engine 2 diet book as well, but have done research online and it makes so much sense to me.  For more info, please see:  http://engine2diet.com/about_e2
My husband wants to lose weight and I want to fill my body with phyto-nutrient rich foods high in vitamins and nutrients, devoid of cholesterol (because our bodies make all the cholesterol we need on their own) and saturated fats.  I am not trying to lose wight, I simply want my body to have the chance to heal itself.  Eating a plant strong diet is proven to do that.  So far I have stopped eating chips and found myself hungry so I made Avocado Tomato Mango Salsa.  It is amazing!  You can find the recipe here:  http://allrecipes.com/recipe/avocado-tomato-and-mango-salsa/detail.aspx    I skipped the oil and salt though.  Trying to get my taste buds used to low salt and less oil!  Check out some of the videos over at the Engine 2 diet website.  Pretty remarkable stuff!

Low Fat Vegan Diet Is Ideal

It's been a while since I've written.  I think that's because I am trying not to complain and focus on negative and sad feelings.  It's really hard though.  One thing that's really bothering me right now is that all my friends are on Fa.cebook.  I think I've called 4 of my friends /relatives today and each time I've had to leave a message.  Why aren't people picking up their phones anymore?  I'm convinced it's because we all have cell phones and we can choose to just let it go to voice mail.  Especially if we're busy and / or would rather talk to that person later.  I know everyone is busy and I should not take it personally.  It's just lonely when you're not on F.book and that seems to be the main way to stay in touch with people now.  Instead of being on F.book I am working on charting and also busying myself with my part time home business.  And right now I'm not liking either.  I'm frustrated.  My charts are not showing anything glaringly wrong so I'm left wondering what is the problem??  Why are we having a difficult time conceiving?  Only God knows.

On Saturday my husband and I watched The Gerson Miracle.  If you haven't seen it, you must.  It's a true story and the Gerson Institue really exists.  A place where cancer paitents go for alternative medicine.  They skip chemo and any mainstream procedures and go straight to a major diet change.  Within weeks, people have reported healing and are free of cancer.  We stumbled upon this movie on our Hul.uplus movie list in the health section. I actually thought it was a sign from God.  I'm not kidding!  The reason is, I've also read the book The Ch.ina Study and both this book and the movie we watched were in line with each other.  My husband and I have been trying to drink "green drinks" (blended organic greens and fruit in a V.ita.mix blender- great way to get your vegetables btw) since we first read The China S.tudy.  I have been trying to limit meat (much harder for my husband) and incorporate more fruits and vegetables through blending green drinks and things like that.  Anyway, this movie helped get me back on track.  I really felt like God was pointing me in a direction that was more diet-change oriented.  I am already gluten and dairy free, and now I want to get more serious about limiting animal products.  Basically both the movie and the book I've mentioned above advocate a low fat vegan diet.  In my case, I would also add to that gluten free.  I want to heal my body of whatever is wrong and the thought of expensive surgeries and so many blood tests and ultrasounds just makes my head dizzy.  I feel overwhelmed and sad.  Sad to think what if those things don't even work?  Money and time wasted.  And would a surgery even heal me?  Would it really address the root cause?  Already, we haven't learned much from charting.  I know I have painful periods, but since they've been helped somewhat from a gluten and dairy free diet, I am willing to go further and limit animal products all together. 

There are many interesting things the book and movie above brought to our attention.  The first is that our teeth as humans are vastly different from animal teeth.  Besides that, we have much longer, twistier (a word?) intestines which are designed to pass food slowly through them.  This fact is ideal for plant based foods, because our bodies have the maximum time to seek out nutrients as they pass through.  This fact is not ideal for the digestion of animal products.  An animal's intestines, on the contrary, are short and straight, making them perfect for the digestion of animal products (freshly caught meat).  The meat an animal eats passes through it's body before the meat has a chance to age and turn bad.  Animal products should not be in our bodies for long.  First, the product is already dead, and so the longer it stays in our bodies, the worse off we are.  These two physical differences between humans and animals help aide in the argument that we're not designed to eat animal products. 

But what about protien, you're probably wondering.  The Ch.ina Study goes into that in depth.  The recommended amount of daily protein, it argues, is way over the actual amount humans need to thrive.  We simply don't need the high protein content found in animal products.  The coolest thing I learned from this book is that cows milk is actually very difficult for our bodies to assimilate.  Animal products in general, produce an acidic environment in our bodies thus requiring calcium to help regulate the internal pH balance.  The calcium is often taken from bones in order to break down and digest cow milk protein.  Whew.  If you are skeptical about this, I just would say to look at how eastern cultures eat and notice the lower incidence of cancer and diseases in general.  The western standard American diet is simply not healthy.  We push a high animal protein diet and to top it off, we fill ourselves with processed junk food. Western diseases are actually acquired by those who have immigrated to our country, due solely from their having adapted the standard American diet.  When I learned that, I thought, wow, healthy immigrants are unknowingly paying a high price with their health just from adapting our eating habits.  Food, I'm telling you, is the only game changer.  It's what we put in our bodies that determines the pH of our whole system.  If it's too acidic, which animal products are, then our body must work harder to keep the inflammation and pH under control.  

I've actually wanted to write a post about the green drinks we make and my thoughts on The C.hina Study.  It just hadn't happened yet.  But the movie this weekend fueled my fire again and I felt inspired to share this all with you.  I'd love to hear what you think.  It's definitely not an easy concept because we are all so accustomed to hearing that meat and dairy are good for us.  We need protein, we need calcium!  Of course we do.  But we don't need as much as the market tells us we do.  And the crucial part is, we can get both protein and calcium and our bodies will have a much easier time assimilating them (incorporating and using them) when they come from plant based foods.  I challenge you to challenge the mainstream thought about which foods are good for us.  And then let me know your thoughts.

Gluten and I

I am trying to avoid gluten pretty strictly.  In fact, I have noticed a definite increase in anxiety when I eat something with gluten in it.  Perhaps I am more sensitive now that I've been avoiding it for a while now?  I don't know.  One of my siblings has Celiac disease and it was after she got diagnosed that my Mom and I started trying to eat less bread and things with gluten in it.  After I started avoiding gluten, I noticed my headaches, sinus stuffiness and anxiety all started getting much better.  I just feel better not eating it.  I have been tested for an allergy to gluten, however, I had been avoiding it for a while before the test so when the test came back negative, I wasn't convinced.  My Napro doctor said that I shouldn't waste money on a retest if I know I'm feeling better without gluten.  The annoying thing is, it's hard to explain to other people why I'm avoiding it. I can't say, oh I have celiac disease.  I usually just say I have an allergy.  Oh, and I almost forgot one of the biggest beneftits I've noticed being off gluten - my menstrual cramps aren't as bad (I also stopped dairy at this time too, so both dairy and gluten have contributed to the less painful periods.  They're still painful, but not as bad as they were prior to avoiding gluten and dairy).  I think that a gluten allergy can be linked to infertility.  Is there any research out there on that?   I know I could ask dr. goog(le) but I trust you ladies more.  One of the reasons my Napro dr. was suspicious of endo with me was becauase I told her that my painful periods got a little better once I started avoiding wheat and dairy.  She said that if those dietary changes are helping that could be a sign I have endo.
Do you ever write a post and are not sure where it's going?  That's me right now.  I guess I want to let people know that if they are up for cutting out gluten for two weeks and seeing how they feel, they may be very happy they did.  I know I am!  Oh, and I don't miss bread.  I think my cravings for gluten and my cravings in general have all been calmed since I took the leap and cut all gluten out. 
Well, I'm off to do the dishes before the husband comes home.  Have a nice night!