Hobbies

I started making my own cleaning supplies the other day.  The vinegar and baking soda have come in very handy.  Especially the vinegar.  It's in a lot of the recipes.  I'm happy that I'll be able to phase out our use of commercial cleaning supplies.  They're costly and I've read that they're often unsafe.  I am not working a job right now, so I have had plenty of time to read and find hobbies like this one.  Hobbies keep me busy during the day.  And thank goodness for our local library.  It has provided me hours of free reading enjoyment and given me inspirations for all my hobbies.

About not working.  I quit my full time job over a year ago.  I thought my husband and I would become pregnant quickly and since I wasn't especially happy at my job and my husband was able to support us, I took the leap and gave my notice. I am much happier not working.  I enjoy sleeping in really late and doing things around the house. It is hard sometimes though, when I feel like I am not doing anything meaningful or worthwhile.  I think the reason I'm always searching for a new hobby is because I don't know what I should be doing with myself and my time.  I feel lost.  I don't know what I'm going to do if months keep passing by and we find we are still not pregnant.

A part of me feels like I don't have a right to be feeling sad about not being pregnant yet because we have only been waiting a year and a half. I'm sure there are people reading this who have been waiting a lot longer than that.  It's still hard though.  It's hard not knowing when or if ever.  It's hard not knowing what I should be doing in the meantime and what I will do if we never have a baby.  What will my life with my husband look like?  I try not to think that far ahead, because I always get sad.  My husband and I always talked about wanting a big family and I am starting to realize that may not happen. 

Insert hobbies again.  I think they help distract me from feeling sad and worrying about the future, the two things that come very easily for me.  I have attempted quilt making, sewing skirts and now home-made cleaning products.  My new thing is I want to learn how to make soap.  I'm interested in cold process soap making, not the melt and pour type.  So maybe I will become proficient at making soap.  I could sell it and it could also be a really enjoyable hobby.  I can also get into this whole blogging thing.  So far, so good.

What helps you while you wait upon the Lord?