Waiting

It seems like it's been a while since I've posted. I gave up surfing the internet for lent and let me tell you, it's been hard! I never realized how often in a day I think, oh I want to look that up or search some product or website. Don't worry, though, I did get my prayer buddy and I've been praying for you, buddy of mine! I apologize if my last post was kind of quick, I was writing it on my husbands phone because our wireless wasn't working at the time.
Since then I haven't gotten sick or anything. It really must have just been something I ate. Oh well. I have been wondering though, for the last week, if I could be pregnant. Today is day 26, and 15 dpo. Since I've started charting, I've only gone past 15 once. But then again, I've only been charting since October or so. This morning, when I thought I'd get my period and hadn't yet, I thought I should take a test to see, maybe, just maybe it would be positive! When it showed Not Pregnant, instead of feeling all hormonal and sad, I thought and still do think that maybe it was just too early? I don't know, I feel a little bit hopeful even despite the negative this morning. Is that normal?!
Today we had some family over after Mass. Oh, and we sung that beautiful song at Mass that I was mentioning a few posts ago. I loved it and can't wait to sing it again. We had GF pasta and meat sauce today. I'm hoping I don't get sick because I haven't eaten meat in a month now. My husband and I both had meat sauce (he more than I), but I'm feeling fine now so I'm not too concerned. Speaking of food, the Engine 2 diet has been going amazingly well. We've been making a large pot of bean chili each week and the Sweet Potato Lasagna from the Engine 2 diet book-really good! We've also discovered more frozen foods by the brand Amy's. Amy's makes gluten free and dairy free products that are very tasty and healthy, so if you're looking for something easy to prepare, check out the Spinach pizza and the bean burritos. You won't be disappointed! We also tried the Mac and Cheese which is made of rice pasta and has a dairy-free cheese sauce. Again, very good!
I'm not going to know what to think if I don't have my period tomorrow. I have one more test in our bathroom, but I'm not going to want to test again so soon. Maybe I will try again on Tuesday if I don't get it before then. I better go now. Please pray for me and my husband!

Eventful Day!

Today was a wild one. This morning my friend and I volunteered to pray with a group from our church at the local p.lanned parenthood. It was a good turn out and I think I'd like to go back to pray with everyone each month. After, we went to a friend's house for a fat tuesday brunch. There wasn't too much there for me to eat, avoiding both gluten and dairy does kind of limit my selection when at someplace new. I always like to make a good impression when meeting people for the first time, don't we all? That's why I thought I'd go ahead and pass out after using the bathroom and then proceed to throw-up everything I had just eaten! Yes, you read that right. It's bad enough feeling sick and throwing up in the comfort of my own home. Forget at someone else's house, my very first time visiting! Ha! I even got to leave with a lovely thank-you-for-coming gift, my newly aquired throw-up bucket! Yes! I can't wait to visit again real soon. You may be wondering what the heck I ate? Nothing too unusual, I had some fresh fruit, fruit snacks, a juice box and I was eating the broccoli out of a small piece of quiche. I tried to avoid the cheese and didn't eat any of the crust but I wonder if there were small pieces of cheese that bothered me. Do fruit snacks have gluten? I thought no, but my husband told me after he thought they did. I noticed sharp pains in my stomach after eating the above foods and then while in the bathroom I started feeling super hot and sweaty. I thought, oh no, this is the first time I've ever been over here and I'm going to be sick. I left the bathroom and motioned to my friend that we had to leave now, but the next thing I knew I was on the kitchen floor with people over me asking if I'm okay. I've never truely fainted before, so this was all new! Then I laid on their couch and threw up after some very sharp pains a couple times. I'll spare you the details on the vomitting, let's just say I was very happy to get that food out of my system! I'm home now feeling much better. What a wild morning though!

Doggie Time

We have been dog sitting for the past week. Rusty is so loving and sweet. I think he would make a good therapy dog, although he barks really loudly and often when there is something outside or someone at the door. He also barks a lot when my husband and I hug! It's really funny! He wags his tail and gets all excited, I think he knows love when he sees it! :) My good friend really wants me to get a dog, but honestly, I have never trained a dog before and I think the reason we're able to watch this dog is because he's house trained and older. He really just lays around all day.

I love it. :) Oh yeah, and he comes upstairs and sleeps by my side of the bed. I'm pretty sure that I'm the master, while his real master is away on vacation. He sleeps in, just like I do, too. I've really enjoyed having a dog around while my husband is at work. I think I'm going to miss having him leave!

Do you think we should get a dog? If so, what kind?

And Now For Your Listening Pleasure

My husband and I are in the choir at our church and we're singing this as a choir next Sunday at Mass. I can't get enough of this song and have been listening to it a lot today. I thought you might enjoy it!

New Evangelization

If you haven't read this, you are missing out! Please head on over and enjoy!

Questions

Yesterday I had a really anxiety-filled day.  I've been noticing that if I have even a little bit of gluten that I react strongly to it now that I've been avoiding it for quite a while.  I got all stuffy and started having to clear my throat a lot, and then the anxious thoughts started flooding me.  It's like I'm unable to have a reasonable conversation about something, instead everything I say is kind of anxiety filled.  My husband tries to explain how my mood is different, which helps to have some objective take on how I'm acting.  I talked to my parish priest and am going to be receiving a low-gluten host when I receive Communion from now on.  I felt so anxious even talking to him about it, I hated the thought of him thinking badly of me or thinking it was all in my head.  Thankfully, those were indeed all just anxieties, as he was very understanding and said that a lot of people are developing allergies lately and that it's certainly okay to have a small piece of a regular host or to have a low-gluten host.  I just may need to remind him, as he might forget.  I had done some research prior to talking to him and knew that the low-gluten hosts were approved by the Vatican, apparently an order of nuns has made them specifically for people with gluten sensitivity.  I find it so crazy that I am so sensitive to it now.  I really do feel more out of sorts and anxious after eating something with gluten in it.  My sister has celiac disease, so I'm not surprised that I have reactions to gluten.  Apparently gluten sensitivities can manifest themselves in different ways with different people.  Some may get stuffiness, others may put on weight, others it may affect their fertility, others may have mood and emotional problems, and then the obvious, others suffering from celiac disease in which the celia lining the intestines are damaged by the gluten protein.  I am trying to get my whole family to try avoiding gluten for two weeks and see how they feel.  My Dad is not keen on the idea, but he is similar to me, prone to anxiety, so I think he would really benefit!  Have you limited gluten from your diet?  If so, what were the benefits you noticed? 

I am still so thankful my HSG went well.  But, and maybe I'm still anxious today because I'm wondering, should I be confused that we haven't found out what is wrong yet?  What is the next step here?  We haven't done the test for my husband yet, so that could reveal some important information.  But what about after that?  Do I need to have surgery if my HSG came back normal?  I know they can't rule out endo until they do a surgery but I'm just not convinced enough to go through with a surgery yet.  I want so badly to have the HSG be enough.  I don't want to do anything invasive unless I absolutely have to.  I hope I'm not upsetting anyone, because I know a lot of you have went through multiple surgeries and I really shouldn't complain.  I know we will do it if we have to.  I guess right now I'm just holding out hope that maybe the HSG unblocked something and now I'll be ready to become pregnant.  This is the start of my TWW.  I want to remain hopeful and trust in the perfect plan and love that Jesus has for me. 

Happy Day!

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers!  I thought of you praying for me as I was driving to the appointment and thought how cool it was that people I've never even met before are lifting me up in prayer.  I may not be a fan of FB, but I sure am loving having a blog and getting to know such wonderful ladies through it! 

So, my appointment went well!  The radiologist said that both tubes are open!  Yay!  He showed me some of the images taken and it was pretty cool.  My uterus looked so small!  He said my uterus looked good and didn't notice anything wrong with it (I guess as much as you can tell from an image?  maybe he meant there were no adhesions or growths? I don't know, I wish I had asked for clarification.) Then he showed where the dye was all over the place after it came out of the tubes.  I thought it was so cool!  I'm always fascinated when it comes to the human body and medicine.  I remember having a surgery for a lump in my left breast when I was in high school and afterwards I was so fascinated with surgery and wanted to be a surgeon!  haha.  I dream big!  Anyway, back to my appointment.  I'm so very happy it went well.  And the pain, I noticed some as he was letting the dye flow through.  It felt just as if my period was coming on.  It lasted a couple minutes and then when he was finished and I sat up, the pain was already easing and I felt fine.  I had a little cramping on the way home, but nothing to really complain about.  I didn't need medicine and feel normal now.  So I wouldn't say I'm in the "felt no pain at all" camp, but it wasn't unbearable, thank goodness. 

My husband was asking if the tubes were previously blocked and I wasn't sure how to answer that.  I just know they are open now, so maybe the dye helped open anything that was blocked?  I guess time will tell because I have no clue.  I was so excited and wanted to share the news with my bloggy friends.  I made sure to tell my hubby first though.  :)  haha I'm talking as though it were a pregnancy announcement!  Not that big of a deal, silly me!  My husband would have come with me but had a big meeting he couldn't miss.  So I waited until now to tell you all.  I'm thankful to God for this little gem of good news! :)  Thanks to you ladies for praying for little me. :)  You are the best!

Waiting For Tomorrow

I haven't written an update yet, as my appointment was switched from yesterday to tomorrow.  I'm anxiously awaiting my appointment though and am so interested to hear the results.  Prayers are greatly appreciated tomorrow 1 pm eastern time! ha :)

It is super warm here today.  47 and SUNNY!  I love love love this kind of weather.  Thank you God for bringing Spring early and this makes me want to do something to my blog header.  It's time for a change, winter look, you've been nice but Spring is on it's way and I'm ready!

Hope you're all having a wonderful day.

HSG

It's been two weeks this coming Monday that we've been following the Engine 2 diet plan.  I must admit that I haven't needed to change much.  I was going light on the meat for a while now, but one major thing I have cut out is processed chips.  Chips are always processed, right?  Anyway, they're no longer in my diet.  Instead, I've been left to munch on nuts and other meal type things.  I am on CD 1 today and so far have only needed two M.otrin every six hours.  That may sound like a lot to you, but it's a whole lot less than I usually need.  I am pretty sure that my cutting out chips has made a big impact in my level of pain this cycle.  Thank the good Lord.

We also took another step towards uncovering our fertility problem today.  I scheduled my first HSG test for next week.  I am feeling relieved right now.  I am not in a whole lot of pain at all and we're going to be receiving some helpful information very soon.  I hope I will get to see the results of the test while I'm there.  It's so hard to be patient sometimes.

I've been kind of slacking in the blogging department.  I'm feeling kind of down because there have been a few babies born into my extended family in the recent weeks and one of them came really soon after the couple was married.  When will that be me?  God, how long are you asking me to wait for?  I hope you have graces in store for me to handle however long I need to wait, because I can't do it alone.  Another couple we know is getting married in the spring.  I was hurt when I learned that the bride to be is worried she might have trouble having kids "like me" because she is of similar build and also has painful periods and blah blah blah.  Well, you know what?  Not everyone who has painful periods is infertile.  And just because you are petite does not mean you are going to have trouble conceiving.  I know plenty of thin, small framed women who had no trouble getting pregnant.  So please, don't look at me and say "I hope I'm not like her".  There are so many factors involved in getting pregnant and it's not always so simple.

Sigh.  And another thing.  I have kind of went back on my whole FB post.  I did what I thought I'd never do and I joined again.  Sometimes when you feel out of control due to something like infertility, crazy things happen.  Now I'm on it and feel like I want to cancel, but then I'll feel really ridiculous because I just signed up again.  I feel so incredibly fickle right now.  Normally I'd be crying now but for some reason the tears aren't coming today. 

Please say prayers for me and my upcoming HSG test.  I hope nothing goes wrong during the test and I hope the results are promising.  Pray please!!!