We're Doing Well

Wow, I've been away for a while and blogger has a "new look"! I hope it's easy to navigate. Things around here have been going alright. I am now taking shots of progesterone 200 mg, twice a week. I just had my first shot yesterday. This was a result of my levels being "good, but not great" and the two days in which I noticed spotting. The spotting was scary, but thankfully I haven't noticed it since. My doctor had me two oral pills per day until my shots arrived in the mail. That seemed to help a lot while I waited for my first injection. I also had my first ultrasound! It was taken at 6 weeks and 4 days. The baby just looked like an oval/circle and there was this little lighter area that we're told is the heart. We were able to see it flicker on the screen, and that was just amazing! I couldn't believe there was another heart beating inside of me, besides my own. I still haven't gotten tired of the wonder of that thought. Oh, and the heart rate was at a healthy 141 beats per minute! Our little sweet one is working hard growing! I've been feeling a little more tired and some days the nauseousness lingers longer than others. I've had a few days where I've thrown up, and thankfully it isn't as bad as I was worried it would be. I think I've felt better after vomiting each time, and sometimes that good feeling stays the remainder of the day. My diet has been really simple. I'm eating fruits and some brown rice pasta, gluten free / dairy free pretzels to help settle my stomach, green drinks and other simple things. Occasionally I will have something a little adventurous, and usually I'm not too happy I've done it after. My best friend fruit right now would have to be mangoes. We've gotten the organic kind from w.hole foods and wow, they're SO good!!! I was also pretty tight with the bananas, until I had one that was too under ripe and it upset my stomach. And before bed, I like to eat gluten free bread, toasted with vegan butter (Earth Balance) and almond butter. Yes, both on the same piece. Try it, you will thank me!! I think the toast and protein in the almond butter helps me sleep well and makes the following morning less icky-feeling. I've missed reading some of your blogs! I think feeling blah has made blogging - reading or writing - somewhat unappealing. But I hope to be back more shortly. Have a great night!

Worries

Today I got my latest progesterone results, it was 18. She said that is stable and to continue what I am doing and then to test in two weeks again.
I have been feeling much more tired and nauseous now. It's annoying and I sometimes have no idea what I feel like eating. I am going to try peppermint tea, my cousin told me that helped her a lot. Right now I have just been struggling with the way I feel physically and it's making me upset because I want to be so happy right now. I havent thrown up yet, but nausea has been with me for about the last four or five days. Any advice from my mom readers? I also feel like I'm worrying that throwing up is in my near future. For some reason I'm really scared to get sick like that. I mean, how bad will it be, how long will it last for? I feel so weak emotionally when I think of that. I don't want to be sick when my husband is at work. So I have been praying hard that I don't get really sick. I feel like a wimp. I've just been praying and saying to God that I don't think I'm strong enough to go through that, so He will have to help me if that's in my future. I think it's just this fear of the unknown I have. Morning sickness is not the end of the world. And gosh, shouldn't I know that? Was it me only a few weeks ago who felt like I could go through anything for my heart's desires? Now i have what I have longed for. I still need God so much. I feel like St. Augustine, when he said, "my heart is restless until it rests in you, oh Lord." How true that is.
I've been worrying. Worrying I'm not going to be a good mother. Worrying, what if I dont't find my baby beautiful? That last one is particularly hard for me to write here and so hard to admit that I worry about something so ridiculously vain and probably so pitiful. But it's true. My anxieties in the past, as now, are often very irrational. I haven't had these types of anxieties in so long, and they are resurfacing now. Now, when I would think I should be so happy. Maybe thats the problem right there. I'm putting stress and pressure on myself to be complaint and worry free. But I am so far from perfect, and I think I'd do well to remember that and stop romanticizing this time in my life. Changes are happening so fast in my body, it's so hard to stay completely emotionally stable and I just need to accept this and move on. I need to stop seeking perfection, with my emotions, my diet, my husband and life in general.
Please say a prayer that my worries subside. I need to stop being so hard on myself and place my full trust in God.

Prayer buddy reveal

This lent I was praying for, January, at To everything there is a season. January, I was praying hard for you this lent. I offered up my time of waiting and discomfort for you and all of your intentions. My husband and I also included you in our prayers at night. I am praying that God blesses you very soon with the gift of a pregnancy. It was so nice getting to know you this Lent and I look forward to keeping up with your journey and keeping you in my heart and prayers. God bless you!

Thank you to my prayer buddy, at IF Me. Thank you so much for your prayers for me. You mentioned you have a pretty good track record with prayer buddies. Does this mean you've had more than one prayer buddy who has become pregnant during your prayer for them? Wow! Do tell more. It was neat to learn you love singing and are in the choir at church also. Also, it encouraged me to know you respect my diet changes. It's so nice to know others are doing or have done a similar thing. You will be in my prayers for sure, and I look forward to getting to know you through your blog! God bless!

In Awe of God

Thank you both so much for your comments. I'm feeling better now. I'm going to check with my doctor next week to see if injections would be better. I guess I need to be thankful that I am in zone 2 and that at least 19 is higher than 17.3, which was my very first reading taken prior to supplementing. Maybe next week it will be at or over 20, that would be great.

After my dose yesterday I went to bed early and got a very good night sleep. I think I'm feeling fatigue little by little. I really have nothing to complain about though. God has blessed me so much and I really want to focus on being grateful throughout my pregnancy. It's so crazy writing that. My pregnancy. I am in complete awe God!

PPIW, your comment "have a blessed Holy Week, mama!" made me smile. Right back at ya, mama! Hehe I am Loving this new I'm a mama concept!

Results

I just got my blood results and progesterone was at 19. She said that's still within the normal range but she wants me to continue with the oral progesterone daily and skip Sunday's dose again. Then I will test the following day.
Does anyone have experience with doing this sort of thing? Is 19 a good level of progesterone? I believe some of you have needed progesterone supplementation, and right now I'm wanting to read your blogs so badly, but I can't until after lent is over. Oh well. I guess this is a holy week frustration I can offer up for my prayer buddy and all of my readers.

More Thanksgiving!

Today I had my third blood draw. I can't wait for the results. Last night I had to remind myself to Not take my Prometrium supplement so my doc can see how the one day skip has affected me. Will my body be producing enough progesterone for me to cut back on the 200 mg? We shall see.
I recently received a comment from my first ever prayer buddy and she sweetly informed me that she has never had her prayer buddy prayers result in a pregnancy or adoption before. Well, TCIE, God certainly heard your prayers for me during Advent, and I am SO thankful to you. I was so amazed when I read that you were my Advent prayer buddy, because your blog seems to be THE blog that started this whole online community. Still not quite sure how you got me as your prayer buddy! It must have been all in God's plan. Since God is outside of time, is all knowing and all loving, I think He matched me with you and listened dearly to your prayers for me. He really does hear your prayers. I am your proof. As a thank you, I would like to send you a gift via snail mail. You have my email address, would you email me your mailing address so I can ship something to you? I am going to a Lenten Prayer event tonight and I have the perfect gift in mind for you and your husband!! You are in my thoughts and prayers this holy week and I can't wait to send you something in the mail!