Today I got my latest progesterone results, it was 18. She said that is stable and to continue what I am doing and then to test in two weeks again.
I have been feeling much more tired and nauseous now. It's annoying and I sometimes have no idea what I feel like eating. I am going to try peppermint tea, my cousin told me that helped her a lot. Right now I have just been struggling with the way I feel physically and it's making me upset because I want to be so happy right now. I havent thrown up yet, but nausea has been with me for about the last four or five days. Any advice from my mom readers? I also feel like I'm worrying that throwing up is in my near future. For some reason I'm really scared to get sick like that. I mean, how bad will it be, how long will it last for? I feel so weak emotionally when I think of that. I don't want to be sick when my husband is at work. So I have been praying hard that I don't get really sick. I feel like a wimp. I've just been praying and saying to God that I don't think I'm strong enough to go through that, so He will have to help me if that's in my future. I think it's just this fear of the unknown I have. Morning sickness is not the end of the world. And gosh, shouldn't I know that? Was it me only a few weeks ago who felt like I could go through anything for my heart's desires? Now i have what I have longed for. I still need God so much. I feel like St. Augustine, when he said, "my heart is restless until it rests in you, oh Lord." How true that is.
I've been worrying. Worrying I'm not going to be a good mother. Worrying, what if I dont't find my baby beautiful? That last one is particularly hard for me to write here and so hard to admit that I worry about something so ridiculously vain and probably so pitiful. But it's true. My anxieties in the past, as now, are often very irrational. I haven't had these types of anxieties in so long, and they are resurfacing now. Now, when I would think I should be so happy. Maybe thats the problem right there. I'm putting stress and pressure on myself to be complaint and worry free. But I am so far from perfect, and I think I'd do well to remember that and stop romanticizing this time in my life. Changes are happening so fast in my body, it's so hard to stay completely emotionally stable and I just need to accept this and move on. I need to stop seeking perfection, with my emotions, my diet, my husband and life in general.
Please say a prayer that my worries subside. I need to stop being so hard on myself and place my full trust in God.
If it makes you feel any better, I felt queasy a lot and never did throw up. Peppermint is good, as is anything with ginger. Check with your doc though before you take anything.
ReplyDelete1st tri is hard, I won't lie! Just push through to the 2nd, it's much better. During the 1st, just eat what you can and try to survive. :) Every day you get closer to feeling better, just remind yourself that.
I'll be praying your progesterone stays up and you feel good. Nausea is SO hard! I can't imagine a whole trimester of it. Hang in there. You are strong. You can do this!
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you!
Hey, just saw your comment on my post. No, you don't need a doula or midwife to do hypnobirthing, but using one would lend itself to hypnobirthing, because doulas and midwives tend toward the lesser-intervention side of things whereas some OB docs want to push pitocin, epidurals, c-sections, etc.
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing is to have a caregiver--whoever you have--be supportive of your decision to do hypnobirthing. I have a regular OB but she is very supportive of whatever I feel I have to do to have the best birth experience possible. I'm not using a doula, but my hubby is taking the classes with me so he's learning how to help me relax and coach me through.
My favorite thing about hypnobirthing so far that I've learned is how it focuses on what a positive and natural experience birthing is. You hear so much negativity, so many horror stories, that it's nice to have the message reinforced that birth is a wonderful, natural, and even spiritual experience. I'm actually EXCITED for labor! I may not be saying that after 8 hours of it (or more, haha) but I am not looking at the birth with fear or anxiety, and I think that will really help me!
You are strong enough to go through of this - think of how long you were IF! :) I wonder why your progesterone isn't going up...? What do Napro docs say about progesterone cream? I used it 2 cycles ago, my progesterone was 50.
ReplyDelete